I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to make a zoo with you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
