My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
