Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just invented taco cereal.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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