quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
