I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Alive.
So much puke
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
