i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
