Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
