I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
