she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
