If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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