yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
