weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
