Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
