Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Randomize
