Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
