i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
