so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
