i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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