I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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