Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize