Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize