I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
