What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
