we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
