I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize