I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
