i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
