Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
