Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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