I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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