I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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