I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
