Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
