Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
