thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
