his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
