theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
