what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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