we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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