ugly people sure do ruin things
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
