You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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