I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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