The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
