nut hugger
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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