i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think your dad took our porno
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
