Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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