I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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