Swine flu. Run for my life!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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