Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
