Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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