This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
