We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this beer tastes like vomit already
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
