so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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