i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
