so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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