I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
