Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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