Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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