he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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