I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
